There are some things that you know intuitively. Some actions you can visualize even without being present—down to the finest detail. Like the one I am about to describe:
‘After reading this post my dad will print a copy and stow it away in his slim black briefcase – his faithful companion to work, only to be retrieved later, maybe after dinner or while sipping his evening cup of tea with my mother huddled close to him listening to him read it out to her. He will read out each sentence carefully, sometimes with a suppressed smile, at others with a faint flush of pride – together they will savor every word written, relish every expression, agree to every thought. He will elucidate if the need arises so that my mom is on the same page -- as they have been through out their lives, not ahead, not behind, just together. Once the post is read he will stash it away, maybe in a folder already neatly labeled, with the rest of his treasures –old family photographs, wedding invitations, pictures of grandchildren…to be read again on some lazy Sunday afternoon.’
Not because this is a great piece of writing but because that’s what he is like. My Dad. Content with his children’s smallest accomplishments but oblivious to his greatest.
A satisfactory portrayal of my dad and his qualities is in many ways reminiscent of the tale of the elephant and the five blind men – all recounts true, but yet, not one complete. For us four, his progeny, he is and will always remain our ultimate guide, our guru, a guardian of our conscience, a custodian of our character. It is to him that we turn for answers when faced with difficult questions, it is his approval we seek when making tough decisions, it is his judgment we depend on when at crossroads. But yet his best gift to us has been the ability he built in each one of us to be independent of him, to walk on the path he showed us, but unaided. To his mother and siblings he is caretaker, the ‘rock of Gibraltar’. For his peers he is the ‘go-to’ man, the master strategist, problem-solver. To his nephews and nieces he is ‘Chief Adviser -- careers, finances, other predicaments’. For his grandchildren he is the bearer of gifts, the key to mysteries, the path to wisdom. To his neighbors and friends he is peace maker, counselor. For his wife he is the answer to all her prayers. All this he is and more.
While it would be an arduous task even for a daughter to list all the qualities that make him such a great person here are some that I find most striking:
While other parents were dispensing verbal advice to their offspring on matters of import he held on to his old-fashioned virtue of letting his behavior set the example. In all his dealings with people we have seen him display these sterling qualities. Seldom slanderous and never demeaning we have always seen him treat everyone with regard. Not easily enraged his most endearing quality could easily be his calm and patience. However big or serious our fault he always kept his cool (that trait none of us have learnt), rarely lost his temper and made us realize that it was okay to make a mistake, that he loved us despite everything. Comparison wasn’t something he believed in; neither was being judgmental; so each one of us was given our own space, our own canvas, to pursue what we wanted to, to become what we could. He invested time in teaching us mundane things usually taken for granted – ironing a shirt, polishing shoes, covering books, arranging money in the wallet, even wrapping gifts. His knowledge is rarely superficial – one is usually impressed both by the range and scale of his information. An eternal learner at heart he challenged our intellect by provoking us to argue, discuss, question, even defy at times conventional wisdom. Many of my childhood memories, fleeting but distinct, revolve around stimulating discussions around the dinner table about international affairs, ethics, value systems, religion, and politics. My Dad. He works hard, plays fair, lives by his values. And it is from his day to day conduct that we learnt life’s simple lessons such as these:
Respect all people; do not mock their intelligence, beliefs, thoughts and actions.
It’s not okay to ever steal or take anything that does not belong to you – borrowing without permission is equally unacceptable.
Honesty, however much the world may change, will always remain the best policy.
Work hard and true; do not take credit for someone else’s labor. Be fair in all your dealings.
There is no alternative to knowledge and there are no shortcuts to learning.
Help those in need whenever possible.
Stand by your family. Always.
Do not bother to be ‘the’ best but ensure that you do ‘your’ best.
Never stop learning. Never stop believing.
Because that’s what he is like. My Dad.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Many a slip between the cup and the lip…
Between expectation and reality; between plan and the result; between the spoken word and the intended one. The slip, believe me, doesn’t always have to end in a debacle. Consider this: the Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria set out in search of India where gold, pearls and spices awaited. But instead landed in America. Columbus is remembered today not for his slip but celebrated for his trip that took him to America. The history of science, technology, discovery and exploration is full of glorified recounts of such slips cleverly masquerading as serendipity. But this post is not about the gap between what is and what could have been – it is about those slips of tongue which are at times outrageously funny and at others simply embarrassing.
This post is also for a very dear friend; for all the laughs we have had over other people’s slips; for all the good times we have had creating what we thought was wonderful work; for small budgets but big plans; for insignificant beginnings but remarkable results; for small steps but giant leaps. So go on, get some laughs from other’s gaffes.
As a marketing communications professional my work involved interaction with product managers, vendors, advertising agencies, printers, media and several others. Excitement was always at hand, creativity at beck and call, entertainment just round the corner. On a particularly busy morning a product manager came to me looking exceptionally smug. His product had won an award. We exchanged the customary ‘you-scratch-my back-I scratch-yours’ comments -- what a great job he had done and how ably my team had supported theirs in developing marketing material. This done, he revealed the reason for his visit. He wanted the award to be framed and displayed at a prominent place in the office – the frame in his words, was to be large and attractive, have non-reflective glass if possible, and must have a ‘backside hanging hook’. Say what?
Like most projects and materials there was a brochure that was needed yesterday. There was a trade show at which the brochures were to be distributed. And to make matters worse we had to follow a corporate directive to distribute work amongst agencies to lessen the pressure of deadlines on a single agency. After several rounds of elimination we chose to work with a new vendor for the job. Brief given, images handed over, copy and layout approved the brochure was sent for printing. On the day of delivery the vendor sends me an email saying that the printer was having difficulty with one of the images and therefore could not deliver as promised. Could I please please bare with him? Well, talk of indecent propositions.
One of the company’s divisions shifted office and moved to a bigger place. The division head called for a meeting at the new office and gave me directions. Guess where the office was located: next to Bombay Brassier (the name of the restaurant is Bombay Brasserie). Now that is a real slip between cup and the lip.
Our good old agency was working on a flash presentation which projected company’s comprehensive suite of products, its technically qualified employees, its wide geographical reach – a cohesive whole. The presentation was showed to us for approval. Slickly edited, fast paced images, nicely blended colors, text, graphics – just when I was warming up to it on the screen I see a nicely forming circle and then zoom to text that said ‘A Cohesive Hole’.
And so goes on the war of words.
This post is also for a very dear friend; for all the laughs we have had over other people’s slips; for all the good times we have had creating what we thought was wonderful work; for small budgets but big plans; for insignificant beginnings but remarkable results; for small steps but giant leaps. So go on, get some laughs from other’s gaffes.
As a marketing communications professional my work involved interaction with product managers, vendors, advertising agencies, printers, media and several others. Excitement was always at hand, creativity at beck and call, entertainment just round the corner. On a particularly busy morning a product manager came to me looking exceptionally smug. His product had won an award. We exchanged the customary ‘you-scratch-my back-I scratch-yours’ comments -- what a great job he had done and how ably my team had supported theirs in developing marketing material. This done, he revealed the reason for his visit. He wanted the award to be framed and displayed at a prominent place in the office – the frame in his words, was to be large and attractive, have non-reflective glass if possible, and must have a ‘backside hanging hook’. Say what?
Like most projects and materials there was a brochure that was needed yesterday. There was a trade show at which the brochures were to be distributed. And to make matters worse we had to follow a corporate directive to distribute work amongst agencies to lessen the pressure of deadlines on a single agency. After several rounds of elimination we chose to work with a new vendor for the job. Brief given, images handed over, copy and layout approved the brochure was sent for printing. On the day of delivery the vendor sends me an email saying that the printer was having difficulty with one of the images and therefore could not deliver as promised. Could I please please bare with him? Well, talk of indecent propositions.
One of the company’s divisions shifted office and moved to a bigger place. The division head called for a meeting at the new office and gave me directions. Guess where the office was located: next to Bombay Brassier (the name of the restaurant is Bombay Brasserie). Now that is a real slip between cup and the lip.
Our good old agency was working on a flash presentation which projected company’s comprehensive suite of products, its technically qualified employees, its wide geographical reach – a cohesive whole. The presentation was showed to us for approval. Slickly edited, fast paced images, nicely blended colors, text, graphics – just when I was warming up to it on the screen I see a nicely forming circle and then zoom to text that said ‘A Cohesive Hole’.
And so goes on the war of words.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Five things that will never change
Much has been said, written and debated over the word ‘change’. In an age where ‘being different’ is the professed goal and ‘front of the queue’ the preferred position, change as a means to achieve these assumes a distinctive relevance. While a great deal of cerebral effort has been spent on the nature, process and rewards of change, I am forced to wonder about things that will never change. I am inclined also to believe that there is comfort to be found in the unchanging, a certain sense of relief felt at a familiar sight, and strength derived from the everlasting.
In this post specially written for my son who recently became a teenager I am listing down five things that will never change. As he steps into adolescence I hope that he will use this as a quick reference guide.
The Number of Hours in a Day
Each one of us, from the meek to the mightiest, from the busiest to the inactive, from the most important to the insignificant, from the smartest to the silly, from the richest to the not so favorably endowed; animals and plants, birds and flowers, all of us get 24 hours in a day. Not more. Not less. Great strides in science are not going to be able to invent more hours in a day or a way to recycle used hours. And however thrifty you get you are not going to be able to save time to spend on a rainy day. So remember to use it wisely. While it lasts. Everyday read a good book, play a while, learn a lot, do a good deed, laugh, have fun, discover, explore new things, indulge in an art, set goals and achieve them.
What you are
Your name. Your language. Your ancestry. Your roots. The country of your origin. The color of your skin. These will stay with you forever. These make you, You – a being like none other, unique and incapable of imitation. Love and respect yourself, and all things associated with you. At all times be yourself, ape none, and by harnessing your strengths you will realize your potential. Always uphold the values that have been instilled in you and as far as is practically possible protect and preserve your culture, heritage and traditions. I borrow Emerson’s words to explain: ‘What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.’
The smell of a rose
The colors of a rainbow. The beauty of a sunset. The serenity of the ocean. The dots on a ladybug. The flight of an eagle. The sweet sound of a nightingale. The soft velvety taste of chocolate. The mysterious smile of Monalisa. Life is full of surprisingly beautiful things. Some bestowed upon us by nature and some created by man. And beauty is eternal – its one of the things that will never change, end or diminish. So grab any opportunity you may get to travel, see the world, and experience the beauty. And once in every while, stop, sit back, enjoy the view. Every now and then take a break, smell a rose.
Words spoken and actions taken
Once spoken, words cannot be changed or taken back. You are accountable for what you say so choose your words well. A simple rule could be: ‘mean what you say and say what you mean.’ Much like words, actions once taken, deeds once done cannot be undone. So think well before you say or do anything.
History
World history is dotted with acts of atrocities, battles, wars, hostility. These can not be reversed. But as citizens of the future your generation can certainly work towards bringing about peace and understanding.
I would like to end this on a heart warming advice:
‘Walk in the rain, jump in mud puddles, collect rocks, rainbows and roses, smell flowers, blow bubbles, stop along the way, build sandcastles, say hello to everyone, go barefoot, go on adventures, act silly, fly kites, have a merry heart, talk with animals, sing in the shower, read childrens' books, take bubble baths, get new sneakers, dance, laugh and cry for the health of it, wonder and wander around, feel happy and precious and innocent, feel scared, feel sad, feel mad, give up worry and guilt and shame, say yes, say no, say the magic words, ask lots of questions, ride bicycles, draw and paint, see things differently, fall down and get up again, look at the sky, watch the sun rise and sun set, watch clouds and name their shapes, watch the moon and stars come out, trust the universe, stay up late, climb trees, daydream, do nothing and do it very well, learn new stuff, be excited about everything, be a clown, listen to music, find out how things work, make up new rules, tell stories, save the world, make friends with the other kids on the block, and do anything else that brings more happiness, celebration, health, love, joy, creativity, pleasure, abundance, grace, self-esteem, courage, balance, spontaneity, passion, beauty, peace, relaxation, communication and life energy to...all living beings on this planet.’ – Bruce Williamson, It's Never Too Late To Have A Happy Childhood
P.S: I would like to say to all of you out there especially to my ardent critics that the list of things that will never change is by no means exhaustive. So please go ahead and send me comments and I will be only too happy to add those as well.
In this post specially written for my son who recently became a teenager I am listing down five things that will never change. As he steps into adolescence I hope that he will use this as a quick reference guide.
The Number of Hours in a Day
Each one of us, from the meek to the mightiest, from the busiest to the inactive, from the most important to the insignificant, from the smartest to the silly, from the richest to the not so favorably endowed; animals and plants, birds and flowers, all of us get 24 hours in a day. Not more. Not less. Great strides in science are not going to be able to invent more hours in a day or a way to recycle used hours. And however thrifty you get you are not going to be able to save time to spend on a rainy day. So remember to use it wisely. While it lasts. Everyday read a good book, play a while, learn a lot, do a good deed, laugh, have fun, discover, explore new things, indulge in an art, set goals and achieve them.
What you are
Your name. Your language. Your ancestry. Your roots. The country of your origin. The color of your skin. These will stay with you forever. These make you, You – a being like none other, unique and incapable of imitation. Love and respect yourself, and all things associated with you. At all times be yourself, ape none, and by harnessing your strengths you will realize your potential. Always uphold the values that have been instilled in you and as far as is practically possible protect and preserve your culture, heritage and traditions. I borrow Emerson’s words to explain: ‘What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.’
The smell of a rose
The colors of a rainbow. The beauty of a sunset. The serenity of the ocean. The dots on a ladybug. The flight of an eagle. The sweet sound of a nightingale. The soft velvety taste of chocolate. The mysterious smile of Monalisa. Life is full of surprisingly beautiful things. Some bestowed upon us by nature and some created by man. And beauty is eternal – its one of the things that will never change, end or diminish. So grab any opportunity you may get to travel, see the world, and experience the beauty. And once in every while, stop, sit back, enjoy the view. Every now and then take a break, smell a rose.
Words spoken and actions taken
Once spoken, words cannot be changed or taken back. You are accountable for what you say so choose your words well. A simple rule could be: ‘mean what you say and say what you mean.’ Much like words, actions once taken, deeds once done cannot be undone. So think well before you say or do anything.
History
World history is dotted with acts of atrocities, battles, wars, hostility. These can not be reversed. But as citizens of the future your generation can certainly work towards bringing about peace and understanding.
I would like to end this on a heart warming advice:
‘Walk in the rain, jump in mud puddles, collect rocks, rainbows and roses, smell flowers, blow bubbles, stop along the way, build sandcastles, say hello to everyone, go barefoot, go on adventures, act silly, fly kites, have a merry heart, talk with animals, sing in the shower, read childrens' books, take bubble baths, get new sneakers, dance, laugh and cry for the health of it, wonder and wander around, feel happy and precious and innocent, feel scared, feel sad, feel mad, give up worry and guilt and shame, say yes, say no, say the magic words, ask lots of questions, ride bicycles, draw and paint, see things differently, fall down and get up again, look at the sky, watch the sun rise and sun set, watch clouds and name their shapes, watch the moon and stars come out, trust the universe, stay up late, climb trees, daydream, do nothing and do it very well, learn new stuff, be excited about everything, be a clown, listen to music, find out how things work, make up new rules, tell stories, save the world, make friends with the other kids on the block, and do anything else that brings more happiness, celebration, health, love, joy, creativity, pleasure, abundance, grace, self-esteem, courage, balance, spontaneity, passion, beauty, peace, relaxation, communication and life energy to...all living beings on this planet.’ – Bruce Williamson, It's Never Too Late To Have A Happy Childhood
P.S: I would like to say to all of you out there especially to my ardent critics that the list of things that will never change is by no means exhaustive. So please go ahead and send me comments and I will be only too happy to add those as well.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
How do you wear your genes?
Browsing through a local book store the other day I came across a travel mug that was made just for my Mom. And for me. And for my brother. And for my sisters. In other words for all of us with the same genes. The mug read ‘obsessive compulsive … in a nice way’. And I can bet my last penny that the mug would have been my thirteen year old son’s first choice for a Mother’s Day gift – that is if he decided to buy one.
In my growing up years I remember my mother dusting furniture with great care everyday, wiping her kitchen counters dry and clean everytime they were used, and putting away scattered and strewn stuff across the house back to where they belonged. She is the Queen of clean and in her kingdom everything has a place, cushions on couches are arranged in a particular order not to be disturbed without permission or reason, no speck of dirt gone astray can find solace in her home, all muck and mess and muddle is relentlessly destroyed in her turf.
My mother’s obsession for cleanliness and orderliness has been passed on to all her children in good measure. So much so that on days that I do not wield broom and mop I feel utterly incomplete. To me the hum of the vacuum cleaner is one of the sweetest sounds, the feathery touch of a furniture duster one of the softest, and the sight of kitchen towels one that evokes positive thoughts. To me a sink full of dishes is the main cause of insomnia, a stained stove top is reason for restlessness, and a basket of unfolded laundry a source of agitation. While most women hover around jewelry counters at stores you can be sure that I am scrutinizing the cleaning supplies aisle. One of my most prized possessions came in a compact package containing four different cleaning cloths – one for glass, one for wood, one for kitchen counters and one for the floor – all at an inviting price of $3.99.
When my brother comes to visit, (after the exchange of customary greetings) he surveys the house for any objects or items that seem out of place. Once he is done with this ritual I wait for what to me is the most valuable part -- his nod of approval, his stamp of acceptance, his gesture that tells me that we share a special bond.
When my sister chops onions she ensures that each slice is the exact same size and shape as the other. Like everybody else in the family she is distressed when she does not find something in what she believes is its ‘right’ place. Her theory is that not only does everything have a place; everything has a ‘right’ place. A scientist by profession, she analyzes this behavior as being similar to Leonard’s (from the movie Memento) who relies on a ‘system’ rather than memory.
But let me not be misunderstood. So far I have only talked about ‘obsessive compulsive’’ now let me tell you about ‘in a nice way’, My mother’s home is a haven for family and friends – sunny, warm and bright, with a whiff of flavorful meals dished out from her kitchen, love and laughter flowing in abundance, unbearably loud chatter of grandchildren, constant ringing of the doorbell and the phone…
If at sixty I can be as energetic, as inspiring, as fun-loving, and as popular as my mom is I would consider myself genetically blessed. Those genes I would wear everyday.
In my growing up years I remember my mother dusting furniture with great care everyday, wiping her kitchen counters dry and clean everytime they were used, and putting away scattered and strewn stuff across the house back to where they belonged. She is the Queen of clean and in her kingdom everything has a place, cushions on couches are arranged in a particular order not to be disturbed without permission or reason, no speck of dirt gone astray can find solace in her home, all muck and mess and muddle is relentlessly destroyed in her turf.
My mother’s obsession for cleanliness and orderliness has been passed on to all her children in good measure. So much so that on days that I do not wield broom and mop I feel utterly incomplete. To me the hum of the vacuum cleaner is one of the sweetest sounds, the feathery touch of a furniture duster one of the softest, and the sight of kitchen towels one that evokes positive thoughts. To me a sink full of dishes is the main cause of insomnia, a stained stove top is reason for restlessness, and a basket of unfolded laundry a source of agitation. While most women hover around jewelry counters at stores you can be sure that I am scrutinizing the cleaning supplies aisle. One of my most prized possessions came in a compact package containing four different cleaning cloths – one for glass, one for wood, one for kitchen counters and one for the floor – all at an inviting price of $3.99.
When my brother comes to visit, (after the exchange of customary greetings) he surveys the house for any objects or items that seem out of place. Once he is done with this ritual I wait for what to me is the most valuable part -- his nod of approval, his stamp of acceptance, his gesture that tells me that we share a special bond.
When my sister chops onions she ensures that each slice is the exact same size and shape as the other. Like everybody else in the family she is distressed when she does not find something in what she believes is its ‘right’ place. Her theory is that not only does everything have a place; everything has a ‘right’ place. A scientist by profession, she analyzes this behavior as being similar to Leonard’s (from the movie Memento) who relies on a ‘system’ rather than memory.
But let me not be misunderstood. So far I have only talked about ‘obsessive compulsive’’ now let me tell you about ‘in a nice way’, My mother’s home is a haven for family and friends – sunny, warm and bright, with a whiff of flavorful meals dished out from her kitchen, love and laughter flowing in abundance, unbearably loud chatter of grandchildren, constant ringing of the doorbell and the phone…
If at sixty I can be as energetic, as inspiring, as fun-loving, and as popular as my mom is I would consider myself genetically blessed. Those genes I would wear everyday.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Some of All Things
A little bit of this and a little of that
Today I don one, tomorrow another hat
Not one or two or three, but a mix of a thousand things
Now isn't that what life is? Some of All Things?
Joyful, gleeful childhood years; Love, Laughter and some tears;
Pictures, Memories, Places, Fears; Jobs, Family, Friends and Peers;
Lessons taught by kids from swings, Silly jokes shared with siblings;
What are we if not for these? Our Life is but a Sum of All Things?
Today I don one, tomorrow another hat
Not one or two or three, but a mix of a thousand things
Now isn't that what life is? Some of All Things?
Joyful, gleeful childhood years; Love, Laughter and some tears;
Pictures, Memories, Places, Fears; Jobs, Family, Friends and Peers;
Lessons taught by kids from swings, Silly jokes shared with siblings;
What are we if not for these? Our Life is but a Sum of All Things?
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